Chocolate Biscuits
by peridxt
Summary: Mrs. Turner and Mrs. Hudson introduce Sebastian and Jim to Sherlock and John as the married ones next door. They come over for tea. The only one who enjoys himself is Sebastian.
Sebastian Moran threw his army duffel on the floor and flopped onto the couch yawning hugely. Mrs. Turner's voice floated over to him from the doorway. "So do you have anyone special then, Sebastian dear?"

"Married." Sebastian answered as tersely as possible. Would she just leave? "Oh my, well I need to go tell missus Hudson then. She'll be so jealous." He heard the door click and footsteps in the hall. He hung his head all the way over the arm of the couch, which was too short for his body. If they were going to stay here they would need a new one.

* * *

When Jim twirled into the flat, Sebastian had moved the chairs and cushions so he could stretch out to his full length on the couch, and his head would rest on a comfortable pillow. He was lying there in blissful silence, but it was shattered by the creak of approaching footsteps and the door literally banging open. He glared at the intruder from his hard-won spot. Jim strode through the door, smiling and saying "Seb my darling, isn't it just wonderful?"

"What is?" Sebastian grumbled and Jim grinned. "This flat! It's right next door to Sherlock and John!" Sebastian scowled at the ceiling. Great. But it explained why the name Mrs. Hudson had been vaguely familiar. Jim sifted through Sebastian's bag and Seb flopped his head over to look at him.

"What are you doing?"

"My laptop. It's in here, right?" Jim questioned edgily.

"Yeah yeah, it's in there." Jim grinned.

"Good."

Seb remembered something and shifted back to stare at the ceiling once more.

"The landlady knows we're married."

Silence fell and Seb tensed unconsciously.

"…She was going to tell missus Hudson, Sherlock's landlady." All was quiet, and Sebastian's trigger finger twitched nervously. Suddenly Jim started to giggle, which turned into a full out laugh. Sebastian sat up and twisted around to stare. Whatever he had expected from Moriarty, it wasn't this. Said criminal was on his knees by the duffel bag, hands on his legs and his head thrown back in delight.

"…what."

Jim met Seb's gaze, his eyes sparking happily. "Oh Sebby. Missus Hudson will mention it to Sherlock and then she'll ask us over to dinner and then they'll _know_ and the looks on their faces will be _priceless_." He explained between guffaws. Sebastian raised and eyebrow, but his mouth quirked into a smile.

"Whatever you say boss." Jim snorted at Sebastian's skepticism.

"You'll see."

* * *

And he did see. Two days later Mrs. Hudson invited them round for tea and Jim accepted as quickly as possible to without looking too eager. Seb strolled over to the house next door while Jim bounced along beside him. He was grinning his head off and Sebastian rolled his eyes. The went knocked on the door and an old lady answered. She introduced herself as Mrs. Hudson, and Jim shook her hand with a glint in his eye.

"I'm Jim, this is Sebastian. We're the Morans next door. We just moved in. It's great to meet some new people; right Seb?"

Sebastian just hummed in agreement. Mrs. Hudson ushered them inside and into her flat on the ground floor. She told them to make themselves at home, and they sat down in comfortable chairs behind a long coffee table. She said she was just going upstairs to fetch her boys and disappeared out the door.

Jim giggled and Sebastian sighed long-sufferingly. Jim pouted at him.

"I hope your not going to be like that when we meet Sherlock and John." He sounded rather put out.

"You've already met them, you realize?"  
"Yes, but this is different."  
"Different how?"  
"Well, for a start, there's no explosives involved."  
"Yes, it is rather boring isn't it."

"Just wait until they see us, though." Jim wiggled a bit in his seat at the thought. "It will be worth having four more people know about our relationship."

"Whatever you say boss."

"Oh shut up."

The door opened again and Sebastian realized his hand had found it's way over to Jim's. They had been absently holding hands while they talked. Sebastian's ears went pink, but he didn't pull away. Jim's lip curled and his eyebrow quirked upwards, and he looked rather amused, but Seb noted he hadn't protested.

Mrs. Hudson walked in with Sherlock and John trailing behind her. She smiled at them, and Jim grinned back. Seb just pulled the most bored look he could manage.

Sherlock and John preoccupied themselves with sitting down as Mrs. Hudson explained while she walked to the kitchen to make tea and biscuits for the groups. "Boys, this is Jim and Sebastian Moran. They just moved in next door." Once they had settled in their chairs they looked up, and Jim smiled at them brightly.

And Oh Jim was right Their expressions were _priceless._

Sebastian's lips twitched slightly, and that was the only sign he was inches away from breaking a rib laughing. Jim could tell though; he akways can. He smiled fondly at Seb, patting their linked hands with his free one.

"Oh Sebby, don't laugh. Their reactions are completely justified." Seb couldn't contain a loud snort at that, which only made Jim's smile widen.

"Jim…Moran?" John finally managed. Sherlock sat back, and you could almost _see_ the gears turning furiously in his mind, trying to process this new development. Jim waved off John's query with a smile.

"Moran-Moriarty, technically. But it's such a mouthful, don't you think? The question was directed at all three of the others. John's eye twitched slightly. Sebastian just shrugged. "…Moran's better." Jim whipped around to glare at him. Sebastian restrained a smile as his husband puffed up like an angry bird in Westwood.

"We've gone _over_ this, Sebastian. I'm not going to explain it for- the- eighteenth- time." One of Sebastian's eyebrows swept upwards, mildly surprised he had counted. Jim glared at Sebastian, looking deadly serious, and Seb rolled his eyes and looked to the side. He could feel Jim's fingers twitch and smirked to himself.

"Oh you are so _full of it_ , Moran." Seb just shook his head, laughing silently and grinning.

"I thought you said you weren't going to do this," Jim whined and Sebastian kept shaking his head.

"From what I remember, I said no such thing."

"No wait what did you say then?" Jim asked, unsurprisingly haven forgotten their entire exchange. He did this, and then peppered Sebastian with questions about what had been said. Sebastian lounged back in the comfortable chair. He needed to get himself one of these.

"I pointed out that having someone's medic strapped to explosives and then having a gun pointed at your head counts as having 'met' them," He slid his hand away from Jim's and did air quotes around 'met', "And that this was rather boring, comparing the two instances."

"Oh god don't do air quotes I hate it when people do that."

"I know." Jim gritted his teeth and his lip curled. Sebastian bared his canines defensively, leaning back to expose his long throat. Jim often joked that he was a lot like a dog or one of his tigers that he had hunted. Sebastian resented that, but saw the truth in it.

Before he could forget, Sebastian called out loud enough to be heard in the kitchen.

"Missus Hudson, _where_ did you get these chairs?" Jim looked at him sideways and he shrugged.

"They're a damn sight better than that white couch. How is it even _possible_ for cushions to be so uncomfortable?"

"Oh stop your whining. It was free, compliments of mister Bennett."

"Oh. If you had told me that, I would have enjoyed that job more."

"You act like it's such a chore. You know you love it." Sebastian didn't answer. Sherlock and John looked rather appalled that they spoke of shooting someone so lightly, though. Mrs. Hudson puttered back into the room, holding a tray of tea and cups and a plate of chocolate biscuits. She set it down on the table and sat down as well.

"I got them from this lovely little shop downtown, love. I know the owner."

"You really must take me there sometime. I really need to replace the ones we have now. Jim doesn't seem to notice the cushions are actually wood blocks with fabric on it." Sebastian commented dryly, leaning forward to pluck two biscuits from the tray. He offered one to Jim, who happily took it. He nibbled on the other and raised his eyebrows.

"These are delicious, my dear." Mrs. Hudson chuckled and smiled at the flattery, waving him off.

"You're just saying that."

"I assure I am not. But then, I guess compared to my usual eating habits, anything is a banquet." He shot a look at Jim who whined. "Food's just so boooring though."

"It is the fuel that keeps you alive, Jim. You can not survive on the occasional cup of tea."

"Yeah yeah." Jim muttered and Sebastian just sighed again, munching on more cookies. Mrs. Hudson smiled at Sebastian.

"Oh, dear, Sherlock's just like that."

"Mm,'s not my fault you douse anything you eat in hot sauce."

Jim muttered into his cookie. Sebastian sighed. Jim looked up at Mrs. Hudson, grimacing as he explained.

"Seb seems to believe that hot sauce makes everything taste better."

"That was once."

"Liar. I've seen you adding it to the shopping list when I'm not looking." Sebastian didn't dignify that with an answer, just grabbed a few more chocolate biscuits. Jim apparently had been pondering it apparently because just as he was about to eat another one he stated "Was that a thing from your army days then? Hot sauce is the cure-all of foods?" He sounded genuinely curious and Sebastian's lip curled slightly and aanswered sarcastically. "Yeah definitely. I remember the best thing I've ever eaten was fresh tiger marinated in hot sauce and baked with extra dust." Jim glared reproachfully and smacked Sebastian's biscuit hand. Mrs. Hudson blinked.

"You were in the army Sebastian?" The man smiled kindly.

"Yes ma'am. Colonel Sebastian Moran. I was in India hunting tigers."  
"Oh my. How exciting."

"Yes well, it wasn't the most pleasent use of my time but certainly... useful." His eyes flashed slightly and John shivered in his seat. Sebastian saw and turned his head to catch the doctor in his cold blue eyes. "I'm still quite the marksman, if I do say so myself." Jim jumped in here, all onboard for making the other pair uncomfortable.

"I've seen him practice sometimes. He never misses when I'm there." John and Sherlock shifted slightly in their seats, catching the allusion Mrs. Hudson didn't. There was an awkard silence as Sebastian finished off his cookies. He was genuinely enjoying himself. The air tensed as his phone buzzed in his pocket. Sherlock watched him with narrowed eyes as he answered.

"What." His tone was business, flat and angry. Jim grinned, glad to see he was rubbing off on his sniper.

"Moran, sir," the voice was contrite and flinched away from his senior's voice, "It's Jenkins. We're finished with Miss Bailey."

"Stewart's already there. There should be no reason to call me."

"But sir Stewart's not her-"

"Don't lie to me." He cut him off and he could actually hear Jenkins's teeth click shut. "I left Stewart there myself." There was silence over the line and Sebastian could feel his lips curling into a silent snarl. He was seconds away from literally growling at the man on the other end of the line. He turned to face Jim, who's eyes he could feel on him. Jim held out his hand and Sebastian handed the phone over. "Jenkins." He said simply and Jim held the phone to his ear, his voice sickly sweet as he spoke.

"Hey Jenkins. It's Jim." Sebastian could almost physically feel Jenkins go pale with terror as he recognized his employer. "Sir I-" The poor man's voice shook as he started to defend himself. Jim's mouth curled into a smile.

"Now now. I just wanted to ask if you remember what Sebastian told you this morning." Jim stretched out, unfolding from himself to lay out on the chair, a smile on his face.

"That he would be in a meeting today, s-sir…"  
"Goood. And who was that meeting with?"

"You and The Mister Younger Holmes and The Mister Doctor Watson sir." Jenkins voice trembled and Jim's smile grew.

"Excellent. And how long were we not to be disturbed by your utter incomptence?"  
"A-all day sir."

"Good show, Jenkins. Could you hand the phone to Edwards?" The phone switched hands as Jenkins handed it off and Jim handed it back to Sebastian. A competent sounding female voice answered.

"Sir."  
"Congratulations on your promotion, Edwards."  
"Thank you sir."  
"And what do you choose to do with your first act as new team captain, Edwards?"  
"Locate Stewart and her team."  
"And your second act?"  
"Promote Lakewood to captain of her team, sir."  
"Continue like that you might just see a bonus in your future."

"Thank you sir." She answered blandly. Both sides of the line hung up at the same time and Jim wrinkled his nose.

"What?" Sebastain inquired, quirking an eyebrow.

"A bonus?"

"There is a thing called an 'operative word', Jim. And in that statement 'might' would be the one." Jim grimaced but Sebastian ppintedly turned to Mrs. Hudson and ignored him. "I'm afraid we must depart. Duty calls and all that." Sebastian stood up, tugging Jim with him, smiling charmingly at the housekeeper as he swept his husband out of the room.

"The tea was lovely, my dear." Mrs. Hudson called a thank-you behind them as the door shut. Sebastian stood in the hall, gripping Jim's arm. Jim growled and yanked his arm away.

"What was that for?"

"We can have tea another day. And she was about to run out of chocolate biscuits." Jim laughed, teeth flashing whitely.

"The game is put to the side for the day, love. You looked like you had fun, Sebby."

Sebastian shrugged as they walked back to the flat.

"Comfortable furniture, tasty food, and making Sherlock's doctor boyfriend shift in his seat." He lit up a cigarette and ignored Jim's angry squawk.

"What's not to love?"


End file.
